The NFL playoffs are among us, and beginning Saturday, 14 teams will vie for the chance to face off under the lights at State Farm Stadium on Feb. 12 in Super Bowl LVII.
There are a variety of scenarios that could lead to an improbable Super Bowl winner. And there are also a few situations where we see much of the same (i.e. Andy Reid leading another team to an SB berth.)
But what fun is the playoffs without rooting for a little bit of mayhem? I
l’ll go ahead and admit my predictions for the MLB playoff race were slightly off (Padres NLDS being my only correct pick), but I believe my experience of living and dying on NFL Sunday bets 18 weeks straight puts me in a solid spot to make a few postseason predictions for the National Football League. So, without a further ado, here’s what ol’ Keith Sweatt has cooked up for opening weekend.
NFC Playoff Predictions
Despite dropping two of their last three regular season matchups, the Philadelphia Eagles snagged the number one seed in the NFC, earning a first-round bye to the divisional round next weekend. The San Francisco 49ers nabbed the #2 seed as the Vikings (#3 seed) stumbled down the stretch and the Tampa Bay Buccaneers just barely beat out the flailing NFC South to earn the final division title and #4 seed. The three Wild Card finalists are the Dallas Cowboys (#5), New York Giants (#6) and the Seattle Seahawks at #7 following a crushing Packers loss to the Lions on the final Sunday night contest of the season.
Obviously, with any playoff setting there are the favorites and the underdogs. In this year’s scenario, the Eagles and 49ers (Brock Purdy ain’t fucking around) are the clear top dogs. But even with their prowess comes questions like “how healthy is Jalen Hurts and the Philly offensive line?” and “Can Purdy fuck around and win it all?” Only time will tell, but these questions leave me to believe this could be a really fun opening playoff weekend.
This is a jumbled way of approaching the matchups, but we’ll start with the Monday night primetime meeting between the Cowboys and Buccaneers. We might as well address the elephant in the room, my Cowboys bias. It pains me to say it, but I think we’re a solid team that could be dangerous. This is, of course, me trying to sike myself into believing we actually could put it all together this season. I know all too well that crushing defeat awaits me on Monday night at Raymond James Stadium in Tampa, which coincidentally just might be my first NFL/Cowboys game. What could go horrifically wrong?
In all reality, I think the Cowboys offense can be lethal when firing on all cylinders, and the banged-up nature of the Bucs on both sides of the ball might allow us to steal a win in Tampa. So of course, I’m fading Tom Brady’s perfect 9-0 record against my boys and taking Dallas.
Pick: Cowboys 24-16
In the Saturday afternoon matchup between the dangerous San Francisco 49ers and the hobbled but victorious Seattle Seahawks, I think it would be silly to entertain any idea that SF doesn’t walk away with a 10+ point margin of victory. In two meetings this season, the Niners defeated the Seahawks 27-7 in week two at home with Jimmy G and 21-13 in week 15 on the road with Purdy. Geno Smith has no doubt resurrected his career. And Kenneth Walker III is most likely the Offensive Rookie of the Year. But it took Seattle overtime in week 18 against the Baker Mayfield led Rams just to sneak into the playoffs. There’s about a 12% chance they can soar into Levi’s Stadium this weekend and put 20+ on the Niners defense en route to a Wild Card upset. Give me the Niners by double digits.
Pick: 49ers 31-10
The #3 seeded Vikings hosting the #6 Giants at 4:30 on Sunday is undoubtedly the biggest toss-up game on the NFC schedule this weekend. The Giants narrowly defeated Minnesota in week 16 before falling late, 27-24. Now, with the season on the line, the two possibly most fraudulent teams will meet to decide who the bigger phony is. Kirk Cousins vs. Daniel Jones is just about as white as it gets in a QB matchup. And when comparing each side’s defensive output in the final weeks of the regular season, it’s tough to say Minnesota has any kind of edge. Getting dismantled by Rodgers and the Packers can’t help the SKOL Nation confidence heading into this weekend.
So, if it comes down to it, I think I like Jones’ ability to limit turnovers and use his legs when needed over Kirk Cousins in a big-time spot. I can see this game going a plethora of ways. From a New York beatdown to a Minnesota OT victory. But I’m going to ride my gut and say I think the Giants get their revenge. Give me Daboll and the NFC Beast G-Men to ride into the divisional round.
Pick: Giants 31-27
AFC Playoff Predictions
The Kansas City Chiefs secured another #1 seed in the AFC, earning a first-round bye while the likes of Buffalo, Cincinatti and Jacksonville will fight to stay alive in the Wild Card round. And while there’s surely some star-studded talent headlining the divisional winners, it may not be smart to count out a Wild Card winner like the Chargers.
The #2 seed Bills will play host to the reeling #7 seeded Miami Dolphins on Sunday at 1 p.m. This will be Miami’s first trip to the playoff since 2016, and a first-round exit is almost certain. Miami will enter Wild Card weekend with third string QB Skylar Thompson at the helm as Tua Tagovailoa and Teddy Bridgewater each remain sidelined with injuries. The Bills will use this weekend as a tune up game to prepare for more lethal opponents in the coming weeks. It may be so bad that I won’t be surprised if we see Case Keenum taking snaps towards the end of the third quarter.
PICK: Bills By a ZILLION (34-12)
In the Sunday night cap, the AFC North champion Cincinatti Bengals will welcome the injury riddled Baltimore Ravens to town. It appears former MVP Lamar Jackson’s timetable to return to the gridiron is still in question, and backup Tyler Huntley’s status is also up in the air. This leaves Anthony Brown as the possible Wild Card weekend starter. If this is the case, the NFL may have to start paying fans to tune in. Even with Huntley at the helm, I expect Sam Hubbard and Trey Hendrickson to have a field day while Burrow and the boys take care of business. Give me Joe Brrrrrr and the Bengals by double digits.
PICK: Bengals 27-10
The Jacksonville Jaguars will host their first playoff game since 2017 on Saturday night as the wild card winning Los Angeles Chargers look to crash the party and secure the “upset” win. The Chargers may have dropped their season finale to Russ and the Broncos, but LA is still a team to be reckoned with.
Justin Herbert has continuously picked up the pieces and made something out of nothing this season, and with the return of a healthy Keenan Allen and slightly “back” Joey Bosa, the Chargers should have more than enough manpower to test the Jags. After all, this is a Jacksonville team, that while hot, still nearly coughed up a playoff spot by allowing Joshua Dobbs to keep within striking distance down until the final whistle. It’s not lost on me that Jacksonville dealt LA a beatdown in week three, defeating the lowly Chargers 38-10 at SoFi Stadium, but these are two different teams, and this is the damn playoffs. This should undoubtedly be one of the best games of the weekend. And I’m going to go against the Cinderella team and back Herbert and LA in a nail-biter.
PICK: Chargers 23-17
